The Glory of Speakers

I just want to say that after about nine months of having no speakers on my computer at work, I am THRILLED to have working speakers. I celebrated them by listening to all the cheesy forwarded e-mails people have sent me recently. That was not so enjoyable. But then I found some Howard Dean scream remixes....wonderful. And yesterday, Britten sent me a link to the most hilarious website about William Hung -- American Idol reject extrordinare. I somehow have managed to miss all but one episode of American Idol this time around, but Mr. Hung has made me really regret that fact.
However, I think that I disagree with him suddenly becoming more famous than I am just because he can't sing. I can't sing! Why am I not famous? On the other hand, his fame is the kind where everybody is just laughing at him (everyone except for all the women writing into the website who want to marry him.). I would rather be famous and have everyone be awed by me.. or something. Laughter = good but not when it's at me.

Confession

O.K. I know this is sooo 1996, but I got an e-mail from the Dave Matthews Band fan club yesterday (yes, you can assume that since I got an e-mail from the fan club I am a member of the fan club.) Anyway, the e-mail was a list of concerts this summer and they're coming here!!! This is very exciting because my fan club membership will allow me to get really good seats and because the date is on a day when I am not obligated to attend any weddings! (a rarity this coming summer)


Weekend

I am so very excited that the weekend is beginning right now. Tomorrow, we are actually going skiing provided I don't suffer any bodily harm between now and 9:30 tomorrow morning. Tonight it is cloudy and cold and I am going to go home and curl up with Neil and some hot chocolate. In fact, maybe I'll leave a little early...

Moving On

I did it. This morning I logged onto the John Edwards website and signed up as a supporter. I did not contribute any money or anything.. but I might. There are rumors about him forming an alliance with Dean... I think that's great. I'm glad things are getting a little exciting in this race and I can tune in again. It's also good to have a new underdog to support. (heh)

Looking Back

O.K. So apparently I signed up with Classmates.com in 2001 while living in El Paso. It was probably during one of my bored spells at work in between being sent to the U.S./Mexico border for a crime story and covering Mrs. So and So's prize-winning rose garden. I don't remember signing up, and I haven't visited the site since, but every time someone from one of my three schools signs up, good old Classmates.com e-mails me to let me know. Thank God, right? I have Hotmail filtering the classmates e-mails right to junk mail. But today it occurred to me that I should just unsubscribe from the thing. I am always interested in reducing spam, especially when it's actually self-inflicted spam.

So, I opened the message telling me about the 7 new contacts from Northwestern University and scrolled to the bottom where I clicked on the unsubscribe link. But, the tricky masterminds of Classmates.com don't let you unsubscribe without your password. I, of course, do not know my password since I don't even remember signing up... so I had to request it. Then I got it and had to use it. Who has signed up in my 30-person high school class -- I wondered.

Now some backstory: I went to a private high school. My boyfriend during senior year went to a public high school. We had a terrible breakup and by most accounts a terrible relationship, although there were some high points. I have not spoken to him since we broke up... or really close thereafter. His family moved away. I have no idea where he is. Every couple of years, I will do a random internet search for his name (too common) and I did look for him on Friendster (no luck), but I haven't made great efforts to find him. I think I wrote him one letter during my freshman year of college. I gave him an update on the life and times of Jodi and then wrote something like, "If you don't write back, I will never bother you again." Or at least that's what I think I wrote. In any case, I never heard back.

So today, on my high school's alumni list from my year I saw his name. This is funny because he didn't go to my school and could only have been looking for me when he signed up like he did go to my school. It's also funny because he's been listed there for who knows how long and I could have found him at any time. Of course, he was probably lured there by the same banner ad or massive boredom that drew me into the classmates evil empire and he didn't leave any information in his profile and maybe he never checked back in, just like me. I could try to e-mail him through the e-mail address he has on file, but it would cost $35 to get the gold membership. And, while I am curious about what happened to him and who he has become... I don't think I'm $35 curious... and I guess that alone says a lot.

DISASTER:

I just typed a long post about:

Howard Dean's announcement that he's dropping out of the race. (sad but expected and possibly overdue)

John Edwards' good show in Wisconsin. (I hope he beats Kerry)

The WB's lameness. (they're canceling Angel and I think Angel rocks...ohdeargod I might have to start watching something like The Newlyweds for entertainment next fall.

The fact that Valentine's Day sucks the romance out of all things romantic and makes them seem contrived. (but I still had a good day with Neil this year)

And a Yoga class with my dad that made the tips of my shoulders hurt. (who knew that shoulder tip pain was possible?)

but then something bizarre happened and the whole entry was erased so you only get this cliff's notes version.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Tori Spelling

Lat week, my guilty pleasure, Gawker posted a link to Tori Spelling's wedding registry. I, being a former 90210 fan, felt compelled to check it out. I scrolled through the Williams Sonoma registry and relished the fact that somebody so famous would register for a bunch of kitchen stuff. I even found one or two items that I've purchased for friends off their registries. "Ah, famous people might be normal after all," I thought. The Tiffany registry was a little more obnoxious, but I was mostly struck by the crystal and how completely undesirable it is to me. Then I closed the Spelling registries and went back to work.

Now, almost two weeks after the original Gawker post, a bunch of people who don't actually know Tori or her soon-to-be husband have been buying her gifts. I think this is at once hilarious and pathetic. I entertained the idea of purchasing her one of the low-ticket items for about 35 seconds until I realized, my $10 would be better off going to charity than to a TV star with a huge family fortune. It's not like sending an early gift would prompt her to befriend me and invite me to her nuptials. And even if it did, would I really want to go? I liked Jenny Garth and Luke Perry better anyways.

That's it... It's Friday, what did you expect... something deep about politics? Ha.

OMG

Everyone who reads this must go directly to the Drudge Report and begin cheering... Maybe I can tune back into the primary politics after all. Yippee for excitement and drama and second chances.

Late

I have been meaning to update all week. I even thought of a few good blogging entries last weekend and was saving them for Monday. And yet, it is now somehow Thursday and I am finally getting around to posting. Where did the week go?

Snow

Right now I am watching snow flutter down outside and melt on the pavement. There are a few little piles of snow clinging to the dirt that covers the construction site across the street. I wish it would stick. I am longing for the snow banks of Chicago winters that don't melt for weeks. I miss the little footpaths on the sidewalks that only accommodate single-file one-way traffic. Yes, I am completely insane. But, there is something so wonderful about being almost literally snowed in and drinking hot chocolate while wearing all your warmest clothes and gazing out the window at the snow falling.

Movies

Last weekend I finally saw Lost In Translation. I had heard so many people talk about how it is a dark movie and is not funny so I was really dreading seeing it at all. But my parents bought the DVD and we watched it on their REALLY BIG television and I absolutely love Lost in Translation. It is right up there with my all-time favorite movies. Why? I love its simplicity. I am fascinated with what it implies about our ability to adapt in foreign places and, less literally, unfamiliar situations. I think the movie was full of hope and I have always been interested in those life-affirming and life-changing relationships that are fleeting and based on place and circumstance. It is definitely deserving of all the hype.

Boo Boo

My bunny is sick again. She won't eat. Neil and I chased her around last night for an hour trying to get her to drink some pineapple juice from an oral syringe. (apparently, if you can get the animal to ingest the juice, it helps break up anything blocking their digestive track.)

So I didn't sleep very well last night because I was worried about her. This morning I got up and called a bunch of vets and got her an appointment at 9. Neil took her. Now we have some medicine that we have to get her to eat. She's apparently bloated and might not be eating because she feels full even though she's probably not full of food, just gas. Rabbits can not get rid of gas unless it's pushed out by food. (fascinating fun fact of the day from this great website)

All of these dramatics over our little bunny have made me think about attachment. I am very attached to Boo Boo. It didn't happen all at once. For a long time, we were completely fed up with her and wanted to give her away. I nearly took her to the Humane Society on several occasions like when she chewed through my keyboard cord about four hours before a big deadline or moved her litter box and peed on the carpet underneath it for the gazillionth time and I was convinced she was doing it to piss me off. But after 2.5 years of having her around, I can't imagine life without her. My house would seem so empty. It would be so sad. I realize this is all just basic human nature, but it's interesting that I cannot rationalize this attachment away. I can tell myself that she's just a little animal who will only live for four to six years anyway and she's not a human etc. etc. But I have a relationship with her and she knows me and I like to think she loves me, so that attachment I feel is not going away. I just hope she feels better and starts eating soon so I can start sleeping again.

Work

Is very frustrating at the moment. I have to get back to it.

Hair Yesterday...Gone Today

I have no hair. Yesterday, I was basking in the glory of curly hair that extended slightly below my shoulders and today I am nearly hairless. My golden locks were lopped off by a scissors-happy hairdresser and I can't even call my hair shoulder length. Neil and some co-workers think it's cute. One co-worker even told me that she'd die for a do like this one. I can't tell if they're all lying and snickering under their breath or if they actually like me as the hairless wonder. I look nearly like a 1970s chick with a curly afro... but not quite.

How did I end up like this? First of all, one out of every four haircuts I get ends very badly, so I should not be acting so surprised. All I asked him to do was help me to make my hair more bouncy and less flat. I also asked him to take off a little length but not much. I have no idea how that translated to "Please chop off all my hair so that it will take many months for me to look normal again." But apparently, it did.

Politics Schmolitics

Oh how the presidential primaries are so depressing. Dean is making a last ditch effort to win Wisconsin and I am praying it will work. Especially after reading this stunning article about John Kerry. I know you can't believe everything you read, but the more I learn about Kerry, the more despicable he seems. If he is the nominee, I will support him...but I sure wish I could find some positive things to like about him. Him being an elitist prick who makes the city remove a fire hydrant so he can park his SUV and gets his bank account fattened up with special interest money is not really something I'm excited about.

In other political news, Maureen Dowd, my favorite columnist, makes some very good points about father and son Powell. I wish I'd written this one myself. As much as I disapprove of Janet's objectification of herself and women in general, I also wish the country would get over it already. She pulled a stupid stunt... I'm not convinced that we should be wasting valuable time and money investigating it. As bad as it was, it was just a boob after all. Isn't it time to start paying attention to important things like say, being led into war based on false information? And maybe all those people in states that haven't yet voted in the democratic primary should start thinking about whether they want a snooty millionaire with lots of dirty laundry to be their nominee and if not, maybe, instead of thinking about tittygate, they should start volunteering for Howard Dean.

The End?

I hate to be a predictor of doom, but I don't think there's a whole lot of hope for my pal Howard Dean.

Last night, I got home and turned on my beloved enemies, CNN and MSNBC. I was only going to check in once in a while and I planned to do other things resembling productivity around the house last night. But, I got sucked in. I watched from about 6p.m. until 9p.m. and it was so depressing. Edward's win in South Carolina was exciting, as was his brief and exuberant speech early in the night. (Although, I couldn't help but notice all the areas where he copied Howard Dean) Kerry's wins were just boring. His interviews were boring. His face is boring, although the Botox has helped a bit. I am not excited by Kerry.

The only thing I find exciting about Kerry's recent success is that polls (oh, how I hate them) are showing him ahead of George W. Now that is definitely something I can get behind, even if it's not whole-hearted.

The truth is, I really really like Howard Dean. I am still holding out hope. But it's rapidly shrinking. I still have all the faith in the world that he'd be an amazing president. But it just doesn't look like the Democrats are going to nominate him. Last night, after the New Mexico results were finally in, I unceremoniously removed my Dean sign from the front window of my house. Then I took the bumper sticker out of my car window and took the button off my bag. Of course, I saved it all so that if he does miraculously get the nomination I can put the m up again. But I'm not betting on it.

I got to almost meet Howard Dean on Friday night. He was in town for a rally and Neil was interviewing him. I got a press pass and masqueraded as media so I could be in the room with him for the interview. The main impression I had was that he looked and sounded exhausted. He also seemed kind... in the way you can sense kindness in a person just by being in their presence. He was not, however, at the top of his game. The Univision station wanted to interview him in Spanish, but he told them he'd need to read his script to speak in Spanish. Neil asked him a question about union endorsements and Dean couldn't remember the name of AFSCME. It was as if he had been going for too long. The campaign had literally worn him down. He was pumped at the rally. He said the same stuff, but his enthusiasm was palpable and the crowd loved him. But as Neil removed the microphone from Dean's tie and I turned to walk out of the room, I felt deflated like the candidate. Hundreds of thousands of us have been with Howard Dean thinking we couldn't loose. Hopefully, all the voters that Dean brought into the political process won't become disenchanted and disengage. We need them to beat Bush. I'll do anything to help in that effort.

O.K. there are certainly more important topics to discuss today, but I have to add my voice to the millions of other voices blabbing about Janet Jackson's tit. I wasn't actually watching the Super Bowl. In fact, for the first time in years... maybe ever, I didn't have the television on at all for the entire Super Bowl. But, Neil and I like to watch the commercials, so we recorded the whole thing and now I think of that little VHS tape in our VCR with dread because I know the horror it holds.

I heard about the boob appearance last night and envisioned a brief cameo. I thought maybe she was wearing a blouse or something and the rapid bouncing of her dance caused an escape... but then I checked out the pictures at the DRUDGE REPORT (warning the previous link should not be clicked on at work)... Oh my. That was no accident. And to make matters worse, it was disgusting. If you're going to bare your breast during dinnertime on the most watched television program of the year, you should at least make sure you're perky and that it looks hot instead of revolting. Granted... the binding nature of her outfit probably helped make the boob look weird and disproportionate... but come on. Why is it that pop stars are in this disgusting game of oneupsmanship? We have Christina and Brittney getting more and more skanky by the minute, that whole kissing thing with Madonna, and now Janet is jumping into the fray by disrobing on live TV.

I am not at all conservative and really have no problem with most things sexual and otherwise. But when famous women proceed to objectify themselves, what hope is there for the rest of us? Unless Justin Timberlake was going to drop his pants at the same time, I think Janet Jackson's exhibitionism was a disservice to women around the world. She made herself look stupid, but she also made a few more men out there think that women should be popping their boobs out more often. She objectified herself and little boys all over the country who were watching the Super Bowl with their fathers got a terrible example of how women behave, got to see a woman as an object.

Personally, when I saw the stunning pictures of last night's performance, I felt ashamed.

Against 24-Hour News:

I have decided that the advent of 24-hour news, rather than keep people informed, has done great damage to our political process. I have heard others say similar things from time to time and have adamantly disagreed. "24-hour news is great," I said. "I can turn the TV on at any time and find out what's happening with the war in Iraq or who's on top in the presidential race." I used to cite things like the 2000 presidential election as proof of why 24-hour news was so terrific. But now I think I was a total fool for ever falling in love with CNN and MSNBC.

Here's the deal. Even during a huge news event like the 2000 election or the beginning of the Iraq war, there is no need for 24-hour coverage all the time. Of course, the networks had to stay on all night on election night when the votes were being tallied and Gore, no Bush, no Gore... was winning. And of course we wanted to see the night sky over Baghdad as we attacked Iraq, but I can't think of any event that would call for more than a few days of nonstop coverage. (We all know that the following month after the election in 2000 we were subjected to watching Floridians staring at hanging chads for countless hours of riveting coverage.) When we're not experiencing some cataclysmic event, or even when we are, the networks need to fill time and that's when we get into trouble. Instead of creating thoughtful coverage, the anchors, who don't actually have the time to create thoughtful coverage, call in Joe Schmo Expert Someone Or Other and the coverage becomes thoughtless noise. (And that's the best case. What about all the people who were so psychologically scarred because they couldn't turn on a TV without seeing the World Trade Center collapsing for at least three months after Sept. 11.)

For a lack of anything better to do, CNN and MSNBC conduct multiple polls daily and then invite right wingers and left wingers and in-betweeners into the studios to comment on the poll numbers of the hour. Dean is shown to have a few percentage points less than Kerry and some asshole spends ten minutes talking about why this particular poll, Poll Number 5,263 of the election season, means that Dean's candidacy is doomed for certain. The next day, the same idiot is on TV saying that Dean is probably going to run away with the nomination because of a jump in the polls. (this poll being Poll Number 5,558 of the election season) It is my conviction that these pundits and the polls that fuel their commentating are doing a great injustice to the American political process.

Can you imagine who you would vote for if you didn't know who was behind and who was ahead in the poll of the moment? What if you read one newspaper story a day and saw one television news story a night about the campaign? You might have heard about Howard Dean's infamous scream, but would you have also heard the personal opinion of no less than 20 different politicos about what the scream would do to Dean's candidacy? Would you have heard the Dean Scream remix? Or what about yesterday... How many times did I see Joe Lieberman stand up in front of a room of supporters and tell them that he had Joementum? If I saw it only once I might have laughed. But I saw it four times just during the 30 minutes I was on the treadmill last night. And by the time I read my workout summary on the eliptical machine and headed to the weight room I was thinking that Lieberman was pretty much an idiot. (and I used to like him) Television has the uncanny ability to magnify one moment and turn it into an eternity by replaying and commentating and polling and picking apart. The men and women who are spouting off their predictions on TV are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. How many times does a voter need to be told that their candidate has no chance before they pick someone else in an effort not to waste a vote? If we didn't have this insane news cycle who would be ahead right now? Would Kucinich have received some votes? I don't know, but I imagine things would be very different.

Toward a Solution:

I know that most people in the media do not want to harm our democracy. They got into the profession to protect it. But I also know that news organizations are under a great deal of pressure to have the most recent and relevant information and to have everything first. Somehow this has turned into the game of who can conduct the most polls in a day and who can have more political insiders commenting on the polls. "Quick, call our polling company and have them call 500 voters. We need the numbers in an hour," I can imagine a news director shouting. I know the news networks aren't going to be silent any time soon and as much as I am frustrated with them, I don't even know if I could live without them... but what if everyone did a poll truce. What if CNN, MSNBC, FOX, BBC, ABC, CBS all got together and agreed to stop the polling madness and what if they agreed to all wait until a certain time after the polls closed on election days to announce the winners of elections. What if everyone went back to their newsroom and created thoughtful coverage that would inform voters about the candidates and then aired that instead of letting talking heads spout opinions and predictions? What if presidential candidates arrived at election day with records that had been fully examined by the media but personal lives and facial expressions and gestures that had not been visciously pecked apart. What if our politicans and potential politicians were allowed to keep just a shred of dignity during the election process? What if journalism discovered the line between responsibly informing the public about candidates and pandering to ratings?

Is this realistic? Maybe not. But the media needs to stop and think about what has happened to politics in America before it is too late and too late could be coming more quickly than we realize.



Some People Out There Might Agree With Me:

Read this very good and tangentially related article about the scream.

First things first:

Have you heard about the documentary: Super Size Me: A Film of Epic Proportions?

The director ate nothing but McDonald's for 30 days to find out the health effects it would have on him and guess what? He got fat. But he also had a liver akin to an alcoholic's at the end of the month and lost his sex drive among other things. Now, it's not like I thought McDonald's was good for you, but I also didn't realize that it was that terrible for you. This has made me not want to eat fast food ever again and I haven't even seen the movie. It recently (yesterday, I think) won the best director award at Sundance and so, I think it might actually be released in theatres, despite expected opposition from Mickey D's. I can't wait to see it.

The weekend:

Skiing was out and I spent most of the weekend flat on my back with my feet in the air... but, my back is feeling mostly better. (whewh) And, we got to see FAME the musical on Sat. night which was fun. I don't think it's the best musical I've ever seen. I liked Rent thousands of times better, but I enjoyed Fame and hearing the old TV show theme song was fun as was seeing all the legwarmers. :)

On Sunday, Neil and I went to Acoma Sky City, the oldest continually inhabited city in the U.S. The Acoma tribe gives tours of the town, which is on top of a mesa and has no running water or electricity. Some of the newer houses are 500 years old. Our guide, Orlando, is a resident of Sky City. He's one of 30 people who still live there full time and he was amazing as a guide. He told us about the Spanish conquistadors who forced the tribe to build the catholic church beginning in 1629 and completed in 1640. The church, San Esteban del Rey, still stands on the mesa today. Orlando told us how the tribespeople built the church with dimensions that corresponded to sacred numbers in their own native religion. He told us about the matriarchal society and the cemetery that is 40 feet deep and contains layers of Acoma ancestors all buried under dirt that was carried to the top of the mesa.

Orlando spoke very quickly, used distinct hand gestures and interspersed words in his tribal language. When asked about this he said that he was speaking to us in three languages at once and that he spoke quickly because he wanted us to understand what he was telling us but not to remember everything because he wants to keep his oral history. It worked. I don't remember much of what he told us. I wish I took notes. But I left with this almost cheesy feeling that Orlando had given me a gift. I had been allowed into this sacred place and some greater wisdom was imparted to me... about survival and connectedness and strength. I will have to go back to the Sky City...

Meanwhile, I am crossing my fingers for Howard Dean tomorrow.... But I'm also going to try not to watch this time. (yeah right)

Back Pain and Political Obsessions

Ok. My back hurts. It's not just an ache, it's a full-on super-strength pain that I can't ignore. I have no idea how I did this to myself. Current theory: crunches at the gym last night. Lame. I have nothing else to say about this unfortunate situation.

In other news, I need to cease my obsession with politics. It is out of control. I can't stop reading political news stories. The Gawker people came up with a new political web log and I almost jumped out of my chair when I found out about it. (I probably would have leapt up were it not for the fact that my back hurts so much I can hardly move.) Wonkette seems like it has potential. I wish I'd started it.

I suppose Neil is not a help in curbing my political problem. Last night we watched a DVD he ordered about CNN's coverage of the 2000 election and then when it ended we flipped to Fox News (evil) where they were re-broadcasting last night's debate and watched that. I swear I would get a thousand times more work done if I wasn't compelled to search the web for campaign news daily.

New life plan of the moment: Run for president.

In the meantime, my weekend plans (skiing tomorrow, rollerblading Sunday) have seemingly been destroyed by the back disaster of '04. Very frustrating. Maybe I will read two more books this weekend to get on track for the 52 book plan?

And now, back to politics:

Highlight of last night's debate: Clark's clever answer to his party-affiliation issues: "I'm pro-choice, pro-affirmative action, pro-environment, pro-labor. I was either going to be the loneliest Republican in America or I was going to be a happy Democrat."
And Dean's good humored reaction to Sharpton's quote of the evening: "Well, first of all, let me say this. I wanted to say to Governor Dean, don't be hard on yourself about hooting and hollering. If I had spent the money you did and got 18 percent, I'd still be in Iowa hooting and hollering." (Debate Transcript)

Goals for the weekend: Relax, Resist watching news, Read, Heal my back.

Catching Up

*New Orleans was awesome. Not only is the city below sea level/filled with fascinating history/more like a European city than an American one/populated by the most friendly and polite people on the planet, but, the seven of us had an amazing time there. We went on a haunted history tour while drinking Hurricanes (New Orleans like Las Vegas has no open container laws). We saw the Real World house, toured the garden district, ate at an amazing place called Mother's, saw awesome jazz at a club, walked around on Bourbon Street (truly terrifying) and had a really good time being girls at our hotel.


I could have stayed for another week exploring and having girl time, but the weekend was really refreshing. Perhaps the best part... nobody puked. Thanks Clea, Britten, Walker, Zandra, Nancy and Rachel for a teriffic time. Can't wait for Rachel's wedding in June!

* The Iowa Caucuses were a different story. I began to suspect that things night might not go well for my candidate (Howard Dean) about a week before the caucus... It was at that point that I decided not to watch. I was going to just read the paper in the morning and spare myself the agony of early predictions and political pundits. But, Neil had the night off and wanted to have a caucus party. So, I caved. Like I really would have been able to sit around watching American Idol without flipping back and forth to CNN and CSPAN, anyway. So we had a party and invited all of our political-minded friends which meant we ended up with two guests, Nancy and Colleen (another reporter at Neil's station). We drank a bottle of wine and we all faced the fact that we're humongous political junkies/nerds.

Howard Dean's third place finish was disappointing, but I was bracing myself for it. I was not, however prepared for his speech. The growling yell he burst into was unexpected, but didn't seem terrible to me... it just seemed like he was trying to be upbeat for his room full of supporters, but the media has lambasted him. I'm ashamed to admit that I even laughed at the Leno monologue last night when he said something about Dean's aids having to shoot him with tranquilizers to end his speech. But enough already. Give the guy a break. People are actually saying his candidacy is over not because of his third place finish but because of his speech. I think it's appalling that the media has the power to make such pronouncements. I've seen more editorializing on the news in recent weeks than ever before...

*Last night's State of the Union address made me nauseous. Bush's pie in the sky plans without funding were transparent. The highlights: eye-rolling by various democrats including Hillary Clinton, the clapping after Bush said that part of the Patriot Act will expire next year, my secret hope that most Americans realized what a load of crap the president was delivering.

*Neat fact: Did you know that John Edwards (despite looking like a 35-year-old) is actually 50!!!!!!!!

*Declaration: I need a break from politics.

*New Years Resolution Updates:
-I have read almost two books... which makes me a little behind, but well on my way to the goal of 52 books by 2005.
-I have been going to the gym at least three times a week since late Nov. (I started early so that I wasn't one of those January gym people because those people a) never make it to the gym past the first of Feb. b) always seem so desperate and c) are really annoying to the regulars.)
- I have taken copious notes when I've felt inspired to write but haven't had the time so that when I have the time, I will also have the inspiration. (we'll see if this new method works)

*Mid-January Resolution: I will update my blog more often.

In a couple hours I am driving to the airport where I'll board a plane and fly to New Orleans. Every time I tell someone I'm going to New Orleans for a Bachelorette weekend, I get strange "Oh. My. God. You are so wild and crazy" looks, which is hilarious actually because this group of girls I'm meeting up with is not the wild and crazy type. At all.

I am most certainly not wild and crazy. I sometimes harbor the romantic notion that I could be mistaken for a wild girl... but I need to face the facts: I am not crazy. I might have been a little crazy in high school and I may still harbor the soul of a crazy girl somewhere deep inside...

Anyway, I am really looking forward to my not so crazy weekend in New Orleans. Being with friends is fun (as I may have mentioned in previous blog postings).

If the weekend turns out to actually be WILD and CRAZY I will be sure to inform my reading public...

Off to the airport.

New Years Eve

This was the first year since 2000 that New Years was better than I expected it to be. Granted, I wasn't really expecting much, but it was truly terrific. I went to dinner at my favorite Thai restaurant with Topher, Lotus, Rebecca, Sarah and Chris (yumm) then we all went to my house where we were joined by Nancy and Justin and at 10:30, after we had finished watching him on TV, Neil came home. I got sufficiently drunk...but I think Chris and Topher and even Neil were all a bit more drunk than I was. We played trivial pursuit, drank wine and champagne and ate brie and fresh-baked rolls from a bakery. Topher and Chris taught Neil how to do "the butt", a classy dance that consists of wagging your butt around in the air in unison with the other people performing "the butt". Topher and I were the dream team in trivial pursuit and got three wedges on our first turn, but then we both got a bit too drunk to repeat our stunning success on any of our subsequent turns. Oh well...

Overall, it was really wonderful to have a house filled with friends and to laugh and just to feel warm and connected...surrounded...part of something larger than myself. What a good way to begin my anticipated new beginning that is 2004.

ahhh... The holidays. Here I am, midway through the big finale of 2003. I spent the last five days staying at my parents' house in Santa Fe, always a weird experience since I no longer seem to fit there, in a literal and figurative sense. When I was in college or just out of college and my brother went to boarding school, my mom took over one of the bedrooms, leaving only the smallest room in the house as a guest room. That summer, my brother came home and converted half of the garage into a very cool room but since one wall is just an un-insulated garage door, the room is completely uninhabitable in the winter. And so, Dustin, Neil and I shared one room with two beds for the holiday. Dustin slept on the couch in the living room and Neil and I waded through the mounds of clothes that Dustin had strewn on the floor and the four suitcases I brought with me. (if you counted my purse, I brought a bag for each day of my stay)

Despite the crowded, displaced feeling I have at my parents' house, I had a really good five days. I saw a bunch of high school friends that I now only see once a year. I did the annual Christmas Eve walk to look at the faralitos and bump into people I know. I got to spend some quality time with a few friends. I saw Rachel's wedding dress. I made lattkes for a last-chance Chanukah party with my family on the 26th. I went to the Catamount, which has somehow become a holiday tradition as well.

Overall, my time in Santa Fe left me feeling fulfilled. I got a big dose of my friends and a much-needed reminder that even though my life in Albuquerque is not overflowing with friends of my own age and a bubbling social life, I do have a lot of people out there who are good friends and who like to hang out with me. They just don't live anywhere near me. But at least they're out there.

Now I have two and a half days until 2004. I think a couple of friends will be coming to my house for New Years Eve. I, of course, have nothing planned for such an evening, but I'm looking forward to it anyway. I love New Years. I love the way the holiday invites us to make new beginnings and to renew our efforts to be good, to be better, to be kind and passionate. I am all for fresh starts, as often as I can get them.

Moving

It is kind of creepy, how natural it felt to build cardboard boxes and pack them up last week before the big office move of 2003. I was only putting my work life into boxes, but it felt like something I was supposed to be doing, as if moving has become part of my nature. It was as though the move saved me from some oncoming restlessness. If I get the chance to pack up boxes and purge junk every year or so I am content. I'm glad, however, that this move didn't take me to a new city or a new house, just a shiny new office building that still smells like paint.

Old Friends

There is really nothing better in the world than friends. I am especially fond of old friends. Most of my friends from high school are back in Santa Fe this week and it feels nice to know they are here. Last night, I sat around in a room with a bunch of them and even though some of us only talk once a year, it is still comforting to know that these people I grew up with are out there doing well and being happy. And it is somehow life-affirming that we can still get together and laugh every now and then. I like to laugh and laughing with friends is a fantastic feeling. I can't wait until Christmas Eve when I can leave work at noon and drive to Santa Fe for four and a half days of friend-filled fun.

Left Out?

At least two of my co-workers left the office with little gift baskets today. Was I left out of the present circuit? I hate feeling left out.

Many months ago, Neil put his name on a list of tennis players at the neighborhood public court hoping that some people who also have most mornings off would call him to play tennis.

A few weeks after his name and number were posted, I was at home one night when the phone rang. I answered to hear a very old-sounding voice on the other end asking for Neil. I proceeded to take a message. The man told me he was calling about tennis, and then he told me his name. "My name is Semen, S-E-Y-M-O-N" I almost cut him off and asked who was really calling. I was nearly convinced that one of our friends was just being funny. But nope, this man who wanted to play tennis with Neil was actually named Seymon, pronounced semen.

And so, Neil has been playing tennis with Seymon and some of Seymon's other old friends for at least six months...probably longer. About once a week we get a message from Seymon on the answering machine. Sometimes he says things like, "Neil, I'd like you to check your dance card and see if you can play tennis on Tuesday" Later he'll say to Neil, "I bet you've never heard of a dance card have you?"

Neil and I have taken to saying SeyMON when refering to Neil's tennis partner around the house... like we're the reggae-crazed kids I knew in high school who spoke in Jamaican accents. SeyMON is much less disturbing.

After months of wondering, Neil finally figured out that his weekly tennis partner is not just old, he's 85.

While I had talked to Seymon on the phone many many times, I had not met him until last night. Neil and I were invited to go to Seymon's house for a holiday cocktail party with some "tennis buddies" and their wives. So, at 7:30 we showed up and were the last guests to arrive. (the other two couples must have gotten their early?) Seymon bounced to the door and took our coats. He was wearing jeans and cowboy boots with a denim shirt under a leather western-style vest. He is a skinny and tall man with a nice white-whiskered face. He looks like he's 70 at the oldest. His wife, Jean, also looks fairly young, but she has recently lost her balance and now has great difficulty walking.

The other two couples were also at least in their 70s.

Neil and I sat in the living room surrounded by six people who could have been our grandparents and I was terrified. What will we talk about? Will they regret inviting little kids to their holiday party? But, we talked about food and cooking and snow and traveling and movies. Seymon, the gracious host, kept refilling our drinks and offering us food, and by the end of the evening, the people I met last night seemed less like old people and more like people. We had things in common to talk about and they were all very nice and treated us like we were peers and so it felt like we were. So now I am wondering if this means I am really an adult now. When the age difference begins to take on less importance and grandparent-types seem like people I could hang out with, have I completely left my childhood behind?

I am glad I finally met Seymon. He's a very cool person.

Oh...
I can't believe they caught Saddam Hussein. My dad called to tell me yesterday morning. I thought it was a joke.

I feel two ways about this news:
1) glad because this means that all the soldiers might get to come home sooner and it makes my country look a little bit less retarded. Glad because even if I want the president to fail, that doesn't mean I want my country to fail. Glad because a terrible tyrant is finally in captivity and can't hurt any more people.
2) not glad at all because this is another feather in Bush's cap that he doesn't deserve. It's another thing he can hold up and say he did and even though it shouldn't, it weakens the argument against this disaster of a war. It makes Bush look good when really, he's just lucky.

Just because it is good that Hussein is no longer a free man and is no longer in power, that does not mean it was good to start this unprovoked war. Especially when there is a man who is arguably much more dangerous to the U.S. still on the loose. Capturing Saddam Hussein, as terrific as it is, is just a diversion because Bush and his men can't find Osama. Now we have troops in two unstable countries and we are responsible for de-stabilizing two nations. We've got one evil dictator in captivity, but no guarantee that the terrible conditions in Afghanistan and Iraq are not breeding more men like Saddam and Osama, more people who hate America and Americans.

Thank goodness there is a lot of time before November's election so that people can come to see the way the snow is continually blown over our eyes by this administration.

In the meantime, I hope Saddam Hussein is made to pay for his crimes.

Backtracking
On Thursday night, I picked up Neil's mom and grandma at the airport. We had dinner at Chili's and then went to the house where we looked at photo albums and watched TV until Neil made his nightly appearance on the news and then came home. We all put on PJs and went to sleep.

I was incredibly stressed out between trying to finish up all my work so that I could pack my office and move to a new building and worrying about making the visit with Neil's family smooth. My mind was whirring and I could feel my blood pumping through my veins even as I buried my head in my pillow and tried to relax. I couldn't get comfortable and my breathing was fast and uneven. Just as I was about to get out of bed and pace the bedroom until I got tired, something miraculous happened, I fell asleep. I slept so well that I had dreams and couldn't remember them. It was the first night in months when I hadn't looked at the clock at least once and despite all the stress, I woke up feeling happy and refreshed. When I got out of the shower and raised the blinds, there was a thin layer of snow blanketing the ground, and as with all snowstorms, everything looked fresh and new.