Lately
I haven't been around the internet lately. I am at work for so many hours and it's so intense that when I get home, I avoid a few things: the computer, the phone, reading, talking in general, thinking. This basically leaves me to watch TV or workout. Sure, I am exaggerating... but just a little.
Today has been a strange day. I had only a couple sips of coffee this morning because it tasted terrible. I suspect it was made incorrectly, that or the cream I put in had gone bad. Mmm. So anyways, I have been in a caffeine-less haze for most of the day. I accomplished a few things at work and was feeling pretty good for a few hours, but now I am experiencing the inevitable post-lunch crash. I had a taco salad (yum) which is pretty healthy and not too heavy, but it is still making me sleepy.
I finished reading the book Saturday by Ian McEwan last night (actually this morning...) I thought I didn't like the book while I was reading, but it turns out I really love it. The writing is really quite amazing and moving.
My friend Johnny has a cool new blog that is worth checking out. I am not sure why he is so anti-goat. Personally, I'm pro-goat. They are cute. They make tasty cheese. Johnny is the friend whose pants-burning New Years Eve party I attended -- he is completely wacky in all of the good ways.
In mid-April, I will be leaving D.C. for the first time since arriving here last November. It is about time for a short trip home to NM to see the family, breathe the mountain air, eat green chile and feel grounded for a moment. I am like a rechargable battery, always needing to return to my home base to gain the strength I need to carry on. Not the prettiest simile, but it works.
Clearly, I need some caffeine. For some reason, I am pleasantly reassured by my addiction to the stimulant. But I really have become dependent on it. Waiting until this late in the day to get my fill is completely crazy. Here's to a more caffeinated post next time.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Whelmed
I keep having all kinds of good ideas for blogging, but I am usually in a tunnel underground, walking someplace or in the shower when the ideas strike... never near a computer. I have been absent from this space lately not because nothing is happening, just because it's never convenient to write about it and when I can, I don't feel inspired. I think part of this might be the fact that I am so busy doing social/external things that my intellectual/private life has been ignored a bit. I am reading a lot still and I do have my daily walk during which I think and listen to music, but I am missing the restorative stillness that I used to incorporate in my days. I am not quite sure how to get that back.
On the other hand, I am having a blast. Work is hard, but I'm finally playing hard too. We go out on weeknights. We have plans. There are things to do. It's really nice.
Last weekend there was a warm spell that allowed Neil and I to spend Saturday rollerblading and getting slight sunburns. I got to wear sandals and sleveless shirts. It was amazing.
A couple of weekends ago my parents came to visit. Much fun was had. We went to a play, Fanny's First Play, which was very entertaining, we toured Mt. Vernon, we ate at amazing restaurants and just had a good time. It's nice to see family, especially being so far away from home.
Some things I have wanted to blog about but haven't had the chance:
*How deeply I love Grey's Anatomy (so much that I like to watch episodes over and over again)
*How being swamped at work is a major social problem
*My need to travel
*New music loves: Idan Raichal Project, Belle and Sebastian's Life Pursuit, Brandi Carlisle
*Strange encounters with DC people who want me to give them one of my dogs
Movie trivia bonus points to the reader that can tell me (in my comments section) which movie the title of this post comes from.
I keep having all kinds of good ideas for blogging, but I am usually in a tunnel underground, walking someplace or in the shower when the ideas strike... never near a computer. I have been absent from this space lately not because nothing is happening, just because it's never convenient to write about it and when I can, I don't feel inspired. I think part of this might be the fact that I am so busy doing social/external things that my intellectual/private life has been ignored a bit. I am reading a lot still and I do have my daily walk during which I think and listen to music, but I am missing the restorative stillness that I used to incorporate in my days. I am not quite sure how to get that back.
On the other hand, I am having a blast. Work is hard, but I'm finally playing hard too. We go out on weeknights. We have plans. There are things to do. It's really nice.
Last weekend there was a warm spell that allowed Neil and I to spend Saturday rollerblading and getting slight sunburns. I got to wear sandals and sleveless shirts. It was amazing.
A couple of weekends ago my parents came to visit. Much fun was had. We went to a play, Fanny's First Play, which was very entertaining, we toured Mt. Vernon, we ate at amazing restaurants and just had a good time. It's nice to see family, especially being so far away from home.
Some things I have wanted to blog about but haven't had the chance:
*How deeply I love Grey's Anatomy (so much that I like to watch episodes over and over again)
*How being swamped at work is a major social problem
*My need to travel
*New music loves: Idan Raichal Project, Belle and Sebastian's Life Pursuit, Brandi Carlisle
*Strange encounters with DC people who want me to give them one of my dogs
Movie trivia bonus points to the reader that can tell me (in my comments section) which movie the title of this post comes from.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Things I Like on a Morning Commute
1. When I walk in the station, down the escalator unimpeded by fellow commuters and right onto a train.
2. Finding an open front corner seat.
3. Finding any open seat.
4. The absence of inclement weather.
5. The absence of shoving and angry glares.
6. The smiley metro employee who chats with me when he's working.
7. A cheerful/friendly -- even funny -- metro announcer.
8. The absence of delays.
9. When friendly drivers stop to let me cross the street (even when I am not using a crosswalk.)
10. When the iPod plays good music.
11. When people smile at me.
12. When I get to work on time.
1. When I walk in the station, down the escalator unimpeded by fellow commuters and right onto a train.
2. Finding an open front corner seat.
3. Finding any open seat.
4. The absence of inclement weather.
5. The absence of shoving and angry glares.
6. The smiley metro employee who chats with me when he's working.
7. A cheerful/friendly -- even funny -- metro announcer.
8. The absence of delays.
9. When friendly drivers stop to let me cross the street (even when I am not using a crosswalk.)
10. When the iPod plays good music.
11. When people smile at me.
12. When I get to work on time.
Speaking of Human Elements
I have been thinking lately about people and connections and how we take a piece of everyone we know with us always. Even people I don't know anymore are with me every day -- whether they introduced me to a favorite song, or a new musician, a way of thinking, a phrase, a saying or mannerism -- I am always collecting parts of people.
It is the parts of people that I have loved the most that are the most easily identifiable. Maybe the longer you spend with a person, the more of them you carry with you? And what if the longer the length of time between when you last left each other, the more the parts of them you've collected become a part of you -- indistinguishable -- unattributed to their original source?
The sad part is that I miss all of the people I carry with me. I miss them all in varying degrees. From my fifth grade teacher to the boyfriend that I never kissed, to the kid I tutored after school, to the coworker who encouraged me not to cry during the first week of work when I was accosted by a creepy homeless man, and the first boy that I loved. I am always missing people. It's not the kind of missing that ruins my days. It's the sweet ache of absence and I feel it for all of my family and current friends who are spread all over the world -- and for the people I have lost along the way.
I have been listening to a song on repeat that made me think of all this: Skeleton on Display by Now It's Overhead. Of course, this song is about some love affair or another, but it touches me:
"Stepping out of skin we grew together in this life we're ending."
Don't we all grow skin together in our various relationships? We forge commonality, create bonds, sometimes we create our own language...
"I will always miss you
I will always miss you
I will always."
And the chorus makes me long for my grandfather, my best friend from freshman year of college and past loves all at once.
"I am a skeleton on display."
I suppose this is true about myself. I am the old heart on my sleeve cliche. I make myself vulnerable by allowing myself to miss people in the way that I do...but I think it's worth it
I have been thinking lately about people and connections and how we take a piece of everyone we know with us always. Even people I don't know anymore are with me every day -- whether they introduced me to a favorite song, or a new musician, a way of thinking, a phrase, a saying or mannerism -- I am always collecting parts of people.
It is the parts of people that I have loved the most that are the most easily identifiable. Maybe the longer you spend with a person, the more of them you carry with you? And what if the longer the length of time between when you last left each other, the more the parts of them you've collected become a part of you -- indistinguishable -- unattributed to their original source?
The sad part is that I miss all of the people I carry with me. I miss them all in varying degrees. From my fifth grade teacher to the boyfriend that I never kissed, to the kid I tutored after school, to the coworker who encouraged me not to cry during the first week of work when I was accosted by a creepy homeless man, and the first boy that I loved. I am always missing people. It's not the kind of missing that ruins my days. It's the sweet ache of absence and I feel it for all of my family and current friends who are spread all over the world -- and for the people I have lost along the way.
I have been listening to a song on repeat that made me think of all this: Skeleton on Display by Now It's Overhead. Of course, this song is about some love affair or another, but it touches me:
"Stepping out of skin we grew together in this life we're ending."
Don't we all grow skin together in our various relationships? We forge commonality, create bonds, sometimes we create our own language...
"I will always miss you
I will always miss you
I will always."
And the chorus makes me long for my grandfather, my best friend from freshman year of college and past loves all at once.
"I am a skeleton on display."
I suppose this is true about myself. I am the old heart on my sleeve cliche. I make myself vulnerable by allowing myself to miss people in the way that I do...but I think it's worth it
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