My Dad Is Funny

My dad is a riot. Today, he introduced me to a new religion via a blog comment he left on an earlier post.

Our e-mails are as follows (Please note, these are the e-mails in their entirety.):

Dad: "I read your Blog and wrote a couple of comments."

Jodi: "Thanks for the comments... What is zorasterism??? -j"

Dad: "Some old funky religion. You can look it up. It's spelled Zoroastrianism I looked it up and it sounds like a good idea."

And so, I looked it up. The definition follows. I suppose that collecting good deeds to defeat an evil spirit is a good idea. Maybe there should be a Zoroastrianism revival? Perhaps, as my dad suggested, Paris Hilton will start the revival. But we'll probably have to wait another 20 years or so until she gets into her self-reflective 40's and turns to religion as a new method for self-promotion.

From Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: Zo·ro·as·tri·an·ism Pronunciation: "zOr-&-'was-trE-&-"ni-z&m Function: noun : a Persian religion founded in the 6th century B.C. by the prophet Zoroaster, promulgated in the Avesta, and characterized by worship of a supreme god Ahura Mazda who requires good deeds for help in his cosmic struggle against the evil spirit Ahriman - Zo·ro·as·tri·an /-trE-&n/ adjective or noun

Tuesdays Can Feel Like Mondays

Today was Tuesday, but it really felt like Monday. It's probably because: a) I didn't have any coffee until lunch and I am, sadly, addicted to caffeine. b) Yesterday was a holiday and even though I went to work, it didn't feel like a real work day. c) I had a foggy head because of allergies. In any case, today was Tuesday but really had the markings of a classic Monday, the dogs getting out of their part of the house and wreaking havoc, my favorite pj pants ripping because they got too thin from all the times I have worn them, a bunch of excessively large bills arriving in the mail ...need I go on?

In other news.. I can't believe the whole Paris Hilton Cell Phone Scandal. More reasons to like her: She is soooo entertaining -- even when she's not trying to be. But really, what kind of crazy lunatic puts topless photos of herself on her cell camera??? I am done trying to defend her intelligence. She might just not have any.

I listened to a really amazing book this week. (yes, listened... not read) Neil checked it out from the library to keep him entertained while commuting to the legislature during the two-month session. He liked it, so I decided to listen to it. I seriously couldn't get out of my car when I got to work each morning. Finally I decided to take the CD's in the house and sit on the couch and listen. It was interesting to be just listening instead of staring at a TV or computer screen...Therapeutic maybe. Anyways, I recommend The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, it was so much better than I could have imagined after hearing people talk about is ad nauseam when I worked at Barnes and Noble in 2002.

I feel like, in my personal and creative life, I am finally getting back to a creative place and it feels so good. It's been a long winter. I realize it's not over yet, but the seasonal Dairy Queen has re-opened and that's a really good sign that things are changing.

Flames Go Out

I think it is immeasurably sad that so many artists, so many of the most talented people the world is blessed with die early because of recklessness, or take their own lives. Hunter S. Thompson wasn't young when he shot himself yesterday, but he wasn't old enough yet either. I, of course, have no idea of the circumstances of his personal life, but it makes me sad that the world has lost another great and talented person.

In other news, have you all heard about the PBS/Buster the Bunny controversy? If not, go to this awesome video blog and check out the video about it. Basically, the government is censoring a cuddly cartoon bunny because in one show he visited a family in Vermont with two moms. I am so incensed by this blatant homophobia and censorship. I wrote a letter to Margaret Spelling...it is posted on Ryanne's blog and below:

Dear Ms. Spelling,

I am a 26-year-old heterosexual woman who grew up watching shows on PBS. Public Television helped shape my view of the world and I intend to let my children (when I have children) watch the educational programming on PBS.

I saw several portions of the Buster show where Buster meets a family in Vermont that is headed by two women and I thought it was WONDERFUL. That is exactly the kind of programming I hope my children get to see. Because, while, I don't choose to have a family like theirs, I certainly want my children to understand that some people do. I hope to raise open-minded and well-informed children so that they will not grow up to hate or fear what they do not understand.

How can children in America remain well-informed and tolerant if people in the government, like yourself, begin to censor media based on individual likes and dislikes? Regardless of whether or not the current administration agrees with homosexuality, the reality is that there are more than 250,000 children in the United States today who are growing up in households with same-sex partners as parents. Should our society ostracize those children and their families because they are different? Since when has our country been about punishing difference?

We thrive because of our diversity and same-sex couples are a part of that diversity. Certainly you can't think that those 250,000 children of same-sex couples all deserve to be marginalized? You can't shove reality in the closet and only present the types of families that you personally approve of in children's television and literature. Our job as adults in this world is to show children what is out there and let them make up their own minds. Pulling funding for a show like Buster is a tragedy -- not for the show's creators, or for PBS, but for the nation's children and for the beautiful complexity and diversity that for so long, Americans have been proud of.

Sincerely

Allergies in February?

I can't stop sneezing. I mean really can not stop. Every three minutes, whatever I am doing is punctuated by a series of sneezes. Also, my eyes itch. This itchy sneezy state has me feeling totally exhausted. I am sure that sneezing expends more energy than, well, not sneezing... so maybe that's why? Ugh. What on earth could I be allergic to in the middle of a very rainy February? I thought rain kept all the allergens trapped in the dirt and so I should be less allergic when it's raining. Hmm. Am I allergic to work?

This has been one of those weeks where I've hardly accomplished anything. I have been working, but keep getting sidetracked by little things and don't get to do the big stuff that would make me feel good. The stuff I could cross off my list. During weeks like these, I often dream of a different life. The Rilke line I quoted on this blog a few months ago, "You must change your life," keeps echoing in my head this week. I overheard that conversation at the gym the other night and then today, I read a big article about this former dot.comer who now has a goat cheese factory and 80 goats in Northern New Mexico. While that is not my exact dream, a big part of me thinks that would rock.

I know this may sound like I am melancholy, but really, I love it when I start to think outside of my current situation. It feels so refreshing -- like the world opens up and I realize that while my current job is important and those lingering tasks need to get accomplished, there is so much more out there and so many things are more important. I think it's hugely necessary not to allow ourselves to become defined by our jobs and by our daily lives. Only sometimes I forget that I think that way.

Apparently, my blog readers do not share my secret admiration for Paris Hilton. I would like to say that I still think she is pretty, only I didn't mean to imply that I would want to look like her. I really wouldn't. I like my Jodi-ness. I would like to steal some and I mean some of her clothes. And I stand by my longing to be worry-free about money. It's not like I sit up nights thinking about Paris Hilton, however. It was just a little confession... I am jealous of the girl, even though she's an airhead. Oh, also, I will admit that initially, I didn't think she was pretty at all and it is highly likely that I now think she is because she's so overexposed and I have had to look at so many pictures of her. I am sometimes weak. What can I say?

The weekend is nearly beginning. It's 5:35 on Friday. I am so psyched to go home! Happy Weekend everyone!

Numbness, Walgreen's, Overheard Conversations and Paris Hilton

My left face is numb. I was going to say left lip or cheek, but really the strange heavy feeling extends to my nose and almost up to my eye. The reason for this numbness is that I had a cavity filled this morning... only my third cavity ever and the first that I actually had to be numbed for.

I have a great distaste for needles and so, I did my required freak out when I sat in the dentist's chair at 8:30, fresh from my shower and dressed in my "business dress" required at the office for a meeting taking place here today. I think I actually have little panic attacks when faced with being stuck with a needle. It's not pretty. My hands sweat, my toes twitch, I get all hot and sweaty and then cold and my breathing becomes irregular. At least twice I have passed out when confronted with a needle, so now I always warn people of this possibility. Anyways, it's true, the actual injection in my mouth didn't hurt very much and it made it so the drilling didn't' hurt at all, but that doesn't mean I'd like to go back for another one tomorrow -- or ever. Also, despite all logic, if I did have to get another shot in the mouth, I would probably still freak out in the same exact way I freaked out this morning, even though I know it doesn't hurt very much. Clearly this needle problem is a psychological disorder.

Last night at the gym, I overheard a snippet of conversation between songs on my iPod. A guy standing up said to a guy in yellow shorts on an exercise bike, "Do you ever think of doing something else?"

And the yellow shorts guy, with a pained expression on his face, said, "Oh heck yes!"

Then my iPod started playing a Liz Phair song that I haven't heard in at least six years. Even though I only heard two lines of their conversation, I am pretty sure that they were talking about careers and it got me thinking about how many people out there are doing things they don't really want to be doing. They just do it to make money. I bet that goes for the majority of people and that's hugely depressing. We think we're all advanced and civilized, but really, we created a society in which people can't survive without selling their souls to corporations and stuffing themselves into uncomfortable suits and skirts every day. (Yes, I realize that I may be overdramatizing this.) But the fact is, I would have answered that question the same way...

"Hey Jodi, have you ever thought of doing something else?"

"Heck yeah! I think about it every day."

Note to self: Start doing something else soon...

Last night after the gym, Neil and I decided to go to Walgreen's. I wanted mouthwash and those silly nose strips that girls in movies are always being embarrassed by, but actually do a nice job cleaning pores. Neil wanted candy, but ended up getting Gatorade. We got in line and the people two places ahead of us in line were using some coupon and buying the entire stock of some strange Easter candy bar. They had several boxes of the stuff and the cashier was scanning them one at a time and then all the systems crashed. We waited in line for about another 20 minutes only to be told we couldn't pay with debit and would have to produce cash. We, of course, didn't have cash, so Neil paid for his Gatorade and we left. Right before we lift this cute little pregnant girl, who couldn't have been older than 20, had to give up on buying milk and go home too. She was wearing pajamas, slippers and eye glitter and had a name tattooed to the back of her neck with some roses. Despite the fact that we were obviously very different, she seemed like someone I'd like to be friends with. I was behind her in line long enough to determine that.

When we got home, Neil and I both brushed our teeth and then looked for the mouthwash we had wanted to buy. Very strange.

And finally, a confession. I know I am supposed to be cool and intellectual and hate Paris Hilton because she's blonde and vapid, but actually, I am insanely jealous of the girl. First of all, she's incredibly beautiful and I can't stop looking at her. But then, she's just so lucky. I was reading an article in Jane Magazine where Paris said something like, "Last year was my best year ever as far as working goes! I hire people I trust so I have no idea how much I made, they handle it for me."

I am so jealous because I would love, for one day, to feel what it feels like to walk into a Louis Vuitton store, buy a $9,000 purse and not worry at all about where that would leave the balance of my checking account. I know that money is not the answer to life's problems, but I also know that I would have many fewer problems if money wasn't something I had to worry about. Lucky lucky Paris Hilton.

Cold Coffee

I just took a big swig of freezing cold over-creamed coffee (Folgers -- does that even count as coffee?) and I want to hurl. This is such a typical thing for a Monday morning that I am going to try to ignore it and move on with my life. Here goes...

So, it rained all day Saturday after raining most of Friday. Neil and I took a cue from the weather and slept until some obscene hour like 10:30. Then we got up and began to clean. OK. I started cleaning and Neil joined in reluctantly. We took occasional breaks, but really, we cleaned pretty much all day (you know, after sleeping the morning away) I guess that's what we get for being so lazy about housework since about November. Augh. Everything was such a big mess. But I feel immeasurably better now that I have a clean house to go home to. It's like I could take a deep breath again. Now, our house didn't look like one of those disgusting houses in the news or anything...In fact, some people would have probably said it looked clean. But I knew it wasn't clean and I was noticing the dirt on the floors and the clutter was getting totally out of control. So, long story short: I have a clean house and I am totally psyched to go home tonight and back in its clean-ness.

Yesterday, Neil and I went to the gym where I did my usual time on the Precor before playing racquetball with Neil. It had probably been at least a year since I'd played with him and even though I have not been playing at all, I think I improved. Neil and I determined that I currently play at about a D+ level and am approaching a C-... sounds underwhelming, I know, but it's very exciting to me. I have never excelled at racquet sports. Despite years of tennis lessons as a kid, I am still only sub-par. Strap me to a pair of skis or stick a ball in front of my feet and it's a different story, but little balls flying at me which I must hit with a racquet...let's just say that I have less luck in that department. Despite a lack of natural ability, I really like racquetball. It's so fun to smash that bouncy ball around the little white room. It's like entering your own little insane asylum and then hitting the crap out of it -- getting all your aggression out -- and leaving. O.K. I realize that is a strange analogy, but I think there may be something to it. Anyways, I am looking forward to more racquetball and more improvement. I'm aiming for a C+. Wish me luck.

And with that, I will be getting to work. High speed wireless internet should be functioning at my house by Friday!!!

Friday

It's Friday. This is good for so many reasons, chief among them, the fact that Neil and I have a reservation at the Melting Pot for chocolate fondu desert in honor of the upcoming Valentine's Day. Other reasons that it is good it's Friday include:

1.) Complete exhaustion from a long week can hopefully be remedied during two days of rest.
2.) Provided it doesn't get in the way of resting, perhaps our house can be rescued from it's state of serious disarray.
3.) Errands that have been put off all week can finally be run.
4.) I might get to see a movie.
5.) There is a new Desperate Housewives on this Sunday.
6.) And so on...

In other news, I have been thinking again. You know, thinking about the big stuff... life, goals, ambition, The Future. I'm not coming up with any conclusions, except for the fact that I'm ready for a new adventure. Maybe the trip to Italy to visit Dustin will help fill the adventure void momentarily... We'll see.

Absent

I've been quiet lately. No real reason. Maybe a combination of things, including, being really busy and being a little sad. Sometimes things go on in life that are too much of a bummer to write a blog post about. I guess that's what's been going on lately...

Last night I had a work event that I helped plan and the governor showed up. He had been on the front page of the paper that morning the headline was something like, "Report: Governor Will Run For President". When he arrived at the event, the band I hired played "Hail to the Chief" which was hilarious, but could have really pissed the governor off. Thank goodness it didn't.

The gov. gave a nice speech about my industry and the people I work with and then headed out. But not before meeting me and making some silly jokes at Neil's expense. He was nice and funny and much less bossy and uncivilized than I had heard he can be. I figure a few more friendly encounters and he'll be ready to hire me to help run his presidential campaign.

Fact: Despite all the rumors and accusations of bullying, if offered the chance to work for the governor of my home state, I would jump at it. Why? Because it would be good experience, a great change, probably higher pay than I receive right now, he's a democrat and usually stands for things I can get behind, and his bossy ways are part of politics. So, Mr. Governor, sign me up.

In the meantime, I am happily getting a good amount of praise for the success of last night's event. Whewh.

Neil and I are going to a fondu place for dessert on Friday night in celebration of Valentine's Day. I'm looking forward to that and to a quiet weekend during which I hope to get our house clean (at last), see Million Dollar Baby and relax until I am too bored to relax anymore.

Only two more days to go...

Three Cheers for Booing

The State of the Union last night made me want to vomit. The problem with George W. is that he has speech writers who help him sound smart and sound like you should agree with him, when, if you know anything about anything, you know that he's full of crap.

I couldn't believe that he mentioned his "Clear Skies" initiative and said how much it would help when there has been so much published about how it will actually weaken regulations protecting our environment. And I was really pissed when he had that nice Iraqi voter there to tug on my heart strings. I am glad she got to vote and that she has blue ink on her finger, but I do not think it was my country's job to make it so she could vote nor do I appreciate being manipulated like that.

I am so happy that the Democrats booed W. while he spoke about Social Security and his view that it is doomed for bankruptcy. (I have to admit that the booing took place during a 20-minute hiatus during which I turned the TV off in disgust until Neil came home and made me turn it on again.) I am sorry that I missed the booing...apparently it was the first time in modern history that such displeasure was expressed during a president's State of the Union address... normally, they all just clap like puppets until it's over.

I am really trying not to, but it's very very tempting to tune out politics all together right now. It's all so disheartening. I have to remember that it's important to know my enemy and I need to stay engaged, even if it seems hopeless...

Jell-O Pudding Pops

Oooh, it's February. Neil and I have been married for two years and five months as of yesterday. And today, that little groundhog popped out of his hole and saw his shadow. But perhaps most importantly, today is the day that I typed "Jell-O Pudding Pop" into Google and learned that my beloved popsicles are being made again!!!! In fact, I can buy them right here in my own city at any Albertson's.

This may seem trivial, insignificant and even ridiculous... but this is a BIG deal. My whole childhood, I got to eat a pudding pop every time I went to my grandma and grandpa's house. My grandpa would buy them two or three boxes at a time and their freezer was always full of them. I used to watch Bill Cosby on TV in his bad sweaters surrounded by little kids as he peddled the popsicles and I felt very cool, because I was in on the Jell-O Pudding Pop craze's gound floor. I had been eating them from the beginning.

In 1996, I went to college and my grandpa died that fall. I miss him all the time. A couple of years ago, I thought about Jell-O Pudding Pops. I don't know how I had forgotten about them, or when I ate my last one. Somehow they just disappeared from my life without me noticing. But when I remembered them, I went searching, thinking that eating one might bring my Grandpa back for a minute or two. No luck, they had gone out of production.

But, apparently, other people were craving a pudding pop too and they have been brought back! So, in honor of my grandpa, and my years-long craving, I am going to get to an Albertson's ASAP and get myself a box of frozen pudding-ey goodness.