Driving School

On Saturday, I had to spend six hours in driver improvement school. It was in a meeting room at a Comfort Inn, which, based on my experience, was not at all comfortable.

There were a bunch of other poor saps like myself who were there because of speeding tickets that they did not want on their driving records. Then we had a handful of scary men with lots of tattoos and slight beer bellies who had that badder-than-shit attitude that really tells the world they're scared, but they think they're tough.

Anyways, I survived and remained awake the whole time. (The girl next to me wasn't so lucky and nodded off several times.)

Here are some things I learned:

1) Five people die in intersections for every one person who dies on the interstate.
2) Even Listerine can set off a vehicle interlock device.
3) If you aren't drunk (above the legal limit of .08 blood alcohol content) but you had a glass of wine with dinner and someone rear ends you, even if it wasn't your fault, if a police officer smells alcohol on your breath, you can get a ticket for driving under the influence. (Drunk people get driving while intoxicated tickets.)
4) Your tires should be no more than 18 inches from the curb when parallel parking.
5) Railroad signs are the only traffic signs that are round.
6) I should never ever get caught speeding again if I don't want my brain to be further subjected to the mind-numbing torture that is driver improvement school.

Thanksgiving is coming. Right now, while I do have lots to be thankful for, I also have a lot of grievances and questions. I'm a bit apprehensive of this approaching holiday. I just hope it goes more smoothly than I am predicting it will.