Tsunami

Last night at the gym I decided to watch the news instead of listening to my iPod and after only about two minutes, I found myself crying on the Precor. My thighs were burning in that pleasant way lets me know I am using my muscles, I was already slightly out of breath and then suddenly, I was crying. I don't know what triggered the tears, but somewhere between seeing tiny little dead bodies of children and sobbing, screaming parents, I lost it.

The thing about these giant killer waves is that we can't blame humans for them. They just happened. And because of where they were vacationing or where they lived, more than 80,000 people died in a few instants.

And then here I am in the desert southwest. I get to go meet friends for lunch and watch TV and go to the gym and walk my dogs like nothing is wrong. And nothing is... here. But why am I so privileged? A week ago, I would have been jealous of those tourists who were vacationing on the beach in far away places that I've always wanted to visit.

Entire countries have been nearly wiped out, swallowed up by the sea. And I want to help. I don't want to send money...mostly because I don't have it. I want to go in person and help with my own two hands... not sure how practical that is or what I would really have to offer, but when I see those pictures on TV, I just want to pitch in.

I am reminded of September 11th. Even though it was completely different circumstances and it was on a much smaller scale, I remember the waiting. I remember the pictures of the missing that were on every wall and fence and lamp post in New York City and I remember the hoping that the death count would be reduced, that people would be found alive.

That little Swedish boy who was found in the jungle in Thailand completely broke my heart. It is amazing that he was found and rescued and reunited by family, but his mom is still missing. Today he was reunited with his dad who said of the boy's rescuer: "She has saved his life, but also my soul because I couldn't survive if I lost them both."

It's little stories like these that trickle out of the disaster zones that make it all seem more real and more devastating. Of course, the media is doing an excellent job tugging at our hearts -- but even with all of the pictures they have been showing, I still can't make it seem real. I can't imagine those waves and the power and force they must have had. How did water kill all those people. Water, one of the most essential ingredients for human life...

It is all so tragic and baffling and perhaps most of all, it is humbling. We think that we control the world...humans. We fight wars and launch attacks. We build things and destroy things. We cultivate plants in our attempt to control nature. We study the earth and weather patterns. We modify DNA and practice selective breeding. It is easy to see why we are all fooled into thinking we're in charge. But really, we have no say when it comes to the big stuff. Nobody knew that earthquake was coming with it's minion waves. And even if someone did know, there was nothing we could do to stop it. (although warning the people lying on the beach would have been nice...)