Obsessions and Creativity

I have a new obsession. That obsession is Veronica Mars. In the past two weeks, I have watched all of seasons 1 and 2 and the approximately 10 hours of season three that have already aired. Last week, as a way out of my mopey shoulder-pain, Neil's Grandma slump I ate breathed and slept Veronica Mars.. or, more accurately, did not sleep. I was up at 3 am on a weeknight watching episode after episode. I've never tried crack, but I imagine the level of addiction was right up there.

So, now us thinking people must ask: Why Jodi, why do you love Veronica Mars? I'm not sure, exactly. The characters are awesome. They are attractive and intelligent. And, there's something very appealing about a small girl being the heroine. I like the father-daughter relationship, and I love the way the show reflects the human condition in a way that is so right on. Watching it lets me escape from myself while I am simultaneously learning something about being human. And that might be the crux of it... the reflection of the human condition. And so, my obsession with "mindless" television has led me to feel like I need to begin creating things again. I know that's why I am here, why I'm alive. I feel the most alive and complete when I am writing, or taking photos, or creating art of any kind and when I am using my body in a creative way to dance or ski or do something else that is somehow beautiful. So why have I not found a way to do that every day. Can't I make money while reflecting the human condition and telling people something they didn't already know about themselves? Sure, it's a tall order, but there has to be a way. Should I be making TV shows? Writing a novel? Working in Journalism (again)? Opening my own design business? Starting a dance studio? Will the answer come to me at some point? Neil said that last week when he saw his grandma's body at the funeral home, he knew it was empty - his grandma was gone, but her body remained - and he thought about how our bodies are like rentals. We inhabit them for a while and then - poof - we'r gone. And this was just another reminder along the way that I need to live as hard as I can. So I will mull this over and come up with my next move...in the meantime, only one more week until a new episode of Veronica Mars and I have an appointment with my couch.