Michael Jackson

When I read the headline today it brought tears to my eyes. Michael Jackson is dead. Yep, people do die. It shouldn't be terribly surprising - and yet, there is something about this news that struck a chord.

I am a child of the 80's. One of, if not THE first album (that's right, record album) that I ever owned was Thriller. I believe that his music was my introduction to the love of music. When I was about five or six years old, my cousin Lisa and I dressed up in shredded white t-shirts that we pilfered from my grandfather and danced in my grandparents' garage in front of homemade grave stones to Thriller. That remains one of my most seminal memories from childhood - partly because it was so much fun to hang out and learn from my older cousin, partly because the family took a few photos and in large part because Michael Jackson sparked my deep love of music.

He had his problems and was surrounded by controversy, but he was also so amazingly talented and kind. It is strange when major figures from your childhood pass away - it calls for a moment of introspection and raises questions. Am I old? Who will be next? I think we define our world by certain iconic figures. What does a world look like without Michael Jackson? Yes, that sounds dramatic and sensationalized, but really...what will it be like without him?

Thank you Michael Jackson for the music, the dancing, the joy and the inspiration. I hope you are now in a better place.

It's about time

Just read this article and am glad someone is speaking up. What I wonder is: Why have people been talking about this same issue ad nauseum at least since I was 12 years old? Why didn't other fashion editors stand up sooner? Maybe when all models had to be a size 4 or 6?

Here's hoping the trend begins to reverse.

What Now?

The hockey season ended in the second round of the playoffs with a terrible game 7 in which the Capitals just choked.

Neil and I have been kind of bummed since then. We spent so much time watching hockey the past 8 months that we suddenly have a ton of free time on our hands. I'm sure that will be a good thing once we finish mourning the hockey season. It was funny at the game when it was clear that our team would not be winning, many of the male fans began to get angry. They were yelling at the team, imploring them to play better, to be the team we knew they were. Whereas, I just got sad. I thought about how sad and frustrated the players must have been and how devastating the locker room was bound to be after the game. Perhaps that's the difference between male and female fans, or maybe it's just me.

As the game was ending, the fans stood and gave the Capitals a standing ovation, not for the game they were about to lose, but for the amazing season that was about to end. And when the final buzzer sounded and the teams had done their handshake, the Capitals raised their sticks to the fans. It was not an electrifying moment like when they won game 7 against the Rangers, but it was incredibly moving. At that moment the saying "Sport is cruel" popped into my head and held new meaning. Oh the agony of sports fandom.

In other less hockey-obsessed news, I started my government job two weeks ago. The first week was spent sitting at the government contract office that's my actual employer surfing the Internet. I was waiting first, for my security clearance, then for paperwork to get my badge. Week two was spent waiting for the same badge paperwork and then waiting for a computer log in. I finally began working on Friday after I got to spend most of Thursday running my personal errands because I still didn't have a log in.

In spite of the less than thrilling education in bureaucracy, I do have some things I really like about my new routine and daily rhythm.

1. I love working in the Ronald Regan Building. It's absolutely beautiful and filled with all kinds of people every day.

2. I love walking to work. It's an entirely different experience being downtown during the work day and my office is only about 6 blocks from my house. I have more hours in my day and a new feeling of freedom.

3. I like having a government badge - It makes me feel like a real Washingtonian.

4. I am enjoying meeting new people.

5. I like being a part of something so much larger than me. Now that I am optimistic about the future of our nation and our government, it's nice to be getting a glimpse inside.

6. I like leaving the office at 5 and being home by 5:15.

I hope to have more to add to this list soon.

Endings and Beginnings

This is the beginning of my last week working for the nonprofit where I've been employed for the past three and a half years. It has been time for me to take my next step for a little while now and I'm excited to be moving on, but there is, of course, always a sadness that comes with this kind of transition. I believe I started this blog during my final two weeks at another job. Funny that it seems like a lifetime ago that I was nervously resigning from my newspaper job. I'm feeling much more confident this time around.

.....

Walking home from the metro today, DC really felt like home. It's my favorite time of year here, one of the first three or four days when it's been warm enough to venture outside in a skirt and short sleeves. The sun was shining, the sky was bright blue, the air is still dry and spring-like, lacking summer's intense humidity, and all of the trees and bushes are in bloom. Something about days like this makes me feel limitless optimism and freedom. My new job is downtown about 10 blocks from my apartment and I'm looking forward to spending more time in this city that I've somehow come to love.

.....

And finally, Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Quarterfinals is tomorrow night. My entire being is buzzing with excitement and nerves. I can't totally explain how I became this obsessed with hockey. I am not sure I can even partly explain it. As I sit here I am wearing red and white polka dotted pj pants with a Caps logo on them and a Caps t-shirt. I am currently calculating in my head how early I can leave work tomorrow in order to get home in time to get ready and get to the game early. Tonight I'll probably dream about the game. I'm nuts - but it's so much fun. Go Caps!

Ouch

It hurts to be a sports fan.

The Capitals lost their second game in the first round of the playoffs to the New York Rangers today and it made me and Neil really sad. A year and a half ago, the fact that I just wrote the previous sentence would have been unfathomable. But here I am, a major Capitals fan. I suppose my fandom is a fantastic example of the fact that I am still growing and changing as a person. Being new to this fandom thing has left me ill-equipped to deal with sports-related sadness. I'll get over it and I'll be cheering the team on while watching on TV this Monday, but for now, I'm bummed. We got home from the game this afternoon and literally did not know what to do with ourselves. Neil took a nap and I cooked a recipe that I learned from the lovely Aarti. (It was delicious). So, I suppose, we were both constructive with our sports saddness.

What is funny to me is that we finally allowed ourselves to be sad. We've had a string of less-than-great things happen to us in the past few months and we managed to remain mostly positive. For me, it's a way of coping. The more optimistic I can be, the better. I do believe that positive thinking brings positive results. But I also realize that sometimes we just need to be sad. We need to grieve for a moment, to feel sorry for ourselves. I haven't really allowed myself that luxury lately. I realize that this is a strange complaint - not being sad enough.

Throughout this tough winter and early spring, the Capitals have bouyed my spirits when I needed it most. Being an avid sports fan is a beautiful distraction. When my team wins, no matter what else is going on in my life at the moment, I have an instant excuse to be happy - which is really a gift. Today, being a sports fan helped me get permission to be sad - another less joyful gift, but a gift nonetheless.

(note: I will be less grateful for this gift if the Caps lose the series.)

Joy

We learned some great news tonight - Neil's sister Jaimie is engaged! Her fiance, Jacob, is fantastic. They make each other very happy and are a pleasure to be around. I am really looking forward to many fun times with them in the future and I can't wait to celebrate their wedding.

Change

The weather in DC is finally changing into the beautiful spring weather that makes me love this city. Other things are changing too and I have a good feeling about the coming months for me and Neil. There is a heightened sense of possibility that comes with sunny weather and blooming flowers. Good things are on the horizon.

Alexander Ovechkin Is Like a Drug
Or why hockey makes me happy


Yesterday was a tough day. Neil's company announced furloughs, I had some frustrations at the office, it was cloudy and cold all day and the news about the economy continued to be grim. Then we went to a Capitals game.

Being a sports fan is new for me. I am not accustomed to giving myself over so completely to fandom. In the past, even when I was rooting for a team, I rarely cheered out loud. I was even hesitant to rise for standing ovations at the theater. It could be my journalism training and my habit of observing rather than participating. In any case, my Capitals fandom has cured me of my fear to cheer and last night gave us great reason to go hoarse with screaming.

Ovechkin came storming out onto the ice, beat two defenders, gave himself a pass off the boards, spun around and received the pass, then was tripped and he still managed to score a goal while lying down and sliding toward the net. Not only was it completely amazing, a feat of astounding athleticism, but it was inspiring. Ovie's determination and then, after succeeding, his exuberance lightened my heart and reminded me what we can all accomplish when we put our minds to it.

So thanks Ovie, for the inspiration and the excuse to scream at the top of my lungs. (It's incredibly therapeutic.)

The most depressing article I've read of late

Wow. I just checked in on cnn.com to find this story. Note that it resides in the travel section of the site. I sincerely hope that we collectively begin to solve the problem of global warming instead of traveling around to sites that are going to disappear before our children can see them.

A Return

It seems as though I might be back to blogging. Now that I have effectively scared off all my readers and remained silent for nearly a year, I'm returning. Stay tuned.