Hope
Something I heard this weekend: Hope is not a symptom of naivete, it's an act of defiance.
I like that. Sometimes I feel like I am too optimistic and too hopeful, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I can make things happen for myself just because I maintain hope in the face of life and all that life throws at me.
Maybe...
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I am Jewish
I was at a wedding tonight and going into it, Neil and I knew we'd probably be the only Jewish people in attendance. This is not something I usually think about when going somewhere, but our friends are very religious and Jesus was mentioned more than a few times on their wedding web site, so we knew we might be a little different than most of the wedding guests.
The wedding was great and the party was on a yacht, which was even cooler than it sounds. Everyone was very friendly and we met a lot of friends and family of the bride and groom which is always fun. The bride was beautiful and it was fantastic to see our two friends so in love with each other.
At dinner, we ate with the couple's marriage coaches from the church. Basically, the marriage coaches are a happily married couple that volunteer to council new couples pre- and post-wedding. They were very nice and very committed to their coaching. They said that two of the three couples they coached last year didn't end up getting married. (Wow - think of how much the divorce rate might drop if every couple had to go through similar counseling before getting married.)
I suppose it was inevitable that they would ask what I do for work. I started with, "PR and Marketing for a nonprofit." Then they asked what kind of non profit and I explained that we bring high school students to DC to teach them about the political system and about political and social involvement. And then they asked how we select our high school students at which point I explained that all of our students are Jewish. I told them how we teach the students that Judaism demands that we be involved and take an active role in making the world a better place.
With all of the explaining out of the way, the woman doing the questioning said, "So to do that kind of work do you have to be that?" (or something close to that) I believe she wanted to ask, "Are you Jewish?" but for some reason couldn't bring herself to do it. I took her awkwardness in stride and said that you don't have to be Jewish to work in my office, but I am Jewish. This was somewhat of a watershed moment for me. Even though I am proud of who I am, I have not often felt comfortable coming out as Jewish. It is hard for me to say, "I am Jewish" - probably because of reactions I have gotten throughout my life and because I grew up in a place where not many people were Jewish.
The rest of the conversation at dinner was peppered with people's Jewish experiences - which were VERY limited. The stories ranged from a neighbor who invited someone to his bar mitzvah, and e-mail with a link to a video about Israeli soldiers, another neighbor who shared hamantaschen at Purim, a recently attended Jewish/Catholic wedding, and, a trip to the National Holocaust Museum. No matter where we tried to steer the conversation, if there was a tiny bit of silence, someone would pull out another Jewish story.
Everyone was very nice, and I know they were trying to find commonalities and create conversation, but I couldn't help but to feel a bit uncomfortable. I would have rather someone said, "I haven't met very many Jewish people, can I ask you some questions?" than run through every experience they ever had with a Jewish person as if I would, for some reason, care deeply.
What if Neil and I had been the only Black people at the table? Would we have received a litany of stories about our fellow diners' Black schoolmates and coworkers? I somehow suspect that most people know that would be inappropriate.
I am not offended and I actually think that the couple and the other woman at our table are very nice people. I wouldn't mind having dinner with them again someday, though I doubt that will happen. I just wish that they could have seen themselves tonight. Or I wish I could have found a tactful way to let them know what they were doing. "Hey, you're embarrassing yourself by telling me about every Jew you've ever met." Maybe I should have started telling all of my own Christian stories? I really have no idea what I could have done to stop them and make things less awkward. Probably nothing - it's just human nature.
Maybe I should be thanking them, really, because before all of the inane stories about their bar mitzvah experiences, they gave me a chance to say "I am Jewish" out loud and to feel proud of making that declaration. I am sure there are a litany of reasons as to why I am now, at age 28, finally able to embrace my religion as part of my identity and feel proud of it (I am working for a Jewish organization, I have met lots of Jewish friends since moving to DC, I am more comfortable with myself overall, etc.) But it feels good to be able to own my religious identity and even when it's a little scary, to be able to say "I am Jewish".
I was at a wedding tonight and going into it, Neil and I knew we'd probably be the only Jewish people in attendance. This is not something I usually think about when going somewhere, but our friends are very religious and Jesus was mentioned more than a few times on their wedding web site, so we knew we might be a little different than most of the wedding guests.
The wedding was great and the party was on a yacht, which was even cooler than it sounds. Everyone was very friendly and we met a lot of friends and family of the bride and groom which is always fun. The bride was beautiful and it was fantastic to see our two friends so in love with each other.
At dinner, we ate with the couple's marriage coaches from the church. Basically, the marriage coaches are a happily married couple that volunteer to council new couples pre- and post-wedding. They were very nice and very committed to their coaching. They said that two of the three couples they coached last year didn't end up getting married. (Wow - think of how much the divorce rate might drop if every couple had to go through similar counseling before getting married.)
I suppose it was inevitable that they would ask what I do for work. I started with, "PR and Marketing for a nonprofit." Then they asked what kind of non profit and I explained that we bring high school students to DC to teach them about the political system and about political and social involvement. And then they asked how we select our high school students at which point I explained that all of our students are Jewish. I told them how we teach the students that Judaism demands that we be involved and take an active role in making the world a better place.
With all of the explaining out of the way, the woman doing the questioning said, "So to do that kind of work do you have to be that?" (or something close to that) I believe she wanted to ask, "Are you Jewish?" but for some reason couldn't bring herself to do it. I took her awkwardness in stride and said that you don't have to be Jewish to work in my office, but I am Jewish. This was somewhat of a watershed moment for me. Even though I am proud of who I am, I have not often felt comfortable coming out as Jewish. It is hard for me to say, "I am Jewish" - probably because of reactions I have gotten throughout my life and because I grew up in a place where not many people were Jewish.
The rest of the conversation at dinner was peppered with people's Jewish experiences - which were VERY limited. The stories ranged from a neighbor who invited someone to his bar mitzvah, and e-mail with a link to a video about Israeli soldiers, another neighbor who shared hamantaschen at Purim, a recently attended Jewish/Catholic wedding, and, a trip to the National Holocaust Museum. No matter where we tried to steer the conversation, if there was a tiny bit of silence, someone would pull out another Jewish story.
Everyone was very nice, and I know they were trying to find commonalities and create conversation, but I couldn't help but to feel a bit uncomfortable. I would have rather someone said, "I haven't met very many Jewish people, can I ask you some questions?" than run through every experience they ever had with a Jewish person as if I would, for some reason, care deeply.
What if Neil and I had been the only Black people at the table? Would we have received a litany of stories about our fellow diners' Black schoolmates and coworkers? I somehow suspect that most people know that would be inappropriate.
I am not offended and I actually think that the couple and the other woman at our table are very nice people. I wouldn't mind having dinner with them again someday, though I doubt that will happen. I just wish that they could have seen themselves tonight. Or I wish I could have found a tactful way to let them know what they were doing. "Hey, you're embarrassing yourself by telling me about every Jew you've ever met." Maybe I should have started telling all of my own Christian stories? I really have no idea what I could have done to stop them and make things less awkward. Probably nothing - it's just human nature.
Maybe I should be thanking them, really, because before all of the inane stories about their bar mitzvah experiences, they gave me a chance to say "I am Jewish" out loud and to feel proud of making that declaration. I am sure there are a litany of reasons as to why I am now, at age 28, finally able to embrace my religion as part of my identity and feel proud of it (I am working for a Jewish organization, I have met lots of Jewish friends since moving to DC, I am more comfortable with myself overall, etc.) But it feels good to be able to own my religious identity and even when it's a little scary, to be able to say "I am Jewish".
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
A Bucket of Keep Your Shirt On
Who else thinks the Subway ads are completely hilarious? I love them. Neil's watching football and I am enjoying the first-game-of-the-season commercials including the fantastic Subway commercial where the guy takes his co-workers' orders and everyone orders things like, "Make your pants tight combo.," "A bucket of keep your shirt on,"and other hilarious meals... It was almost funny enough to make me want to eat Subway, but I really hate it.
Fall?
It's supposed to begin to feel like Fall soon. It's getting light later and dark earlier, kids are back in school, stores are selling plaid, but because I live in a muggy swamp, it's still in the 80s and 90s and muggy.
I am dreaming of crisp air and changing leaves.
Who else thinks the Subway ads are completely hilarious? I love them. Neil's watching football and I am enjoying the first-game-of-the-season commercials including the fantastic Subway commercial where the guy takes his co-workers' orders and everyone orders things like, "Make your pants tight combo.," "A bucket of keep your shirt on,"and other hilarious meals... It was almost funny enough to make me want to eat Subway, but I really hate it.
Fall?
It's supposed to begin to feel like Fall soon. It's getting light later and dark earlier, kids are back in school, stores are selling plaid, but because I live in a muggy swamp, it's still in the 80s and 90s and muggy.
I am dreaming of crisp air and changing leaves.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Wedded Bliss
I was in my friend Julia's wedding this past Saturday. It was her wedding day and Neil and my fifth anniversary. Funny, I have been feeling old lately, but at the same time, I feel very young to have been married for five years. Strange how ambiguous time can be.
The wedding was a lot of fun. Spending our anniversary dancing with our friends really wasn't bad at all. There were several perfect moment
s during the evening... you know, those glimpses of divinity when you see your friends really happy, when you're in the moment with people you love and the world slows down for a second.Julia looked absolutely beautiful, the sunset was amazing, even the rain storm was fantastic.
Of course, the visit to Santa Fe was far too short, but it was nice to be there, to have the chance to see family and have my feet on the ground for a minute.
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