Bummer

Today is kind of a bummer. For starters it's rainy and dreary outside and that's often enough to make me feel bummed. But then there's the news today: a shooting in a postal facility in CA in which 7 people died, the death of Coretta Scott King and now this: Senate Confirms Alito to the Supreme Court which is not at all unexpected, but still a big bummer. Still the kind of thing that makes my heart sink.

Neil has a pass to watch the State of the Union in person tonight... which is really cool, regardless of who the president is, but I don't think I could attend even if I had the chance. Last year, even though I was alone on my couch, I remember swearing at my tv and being incredibly angry the entire time. I think I even switched away from the speech for a big portion in the middle because I found watching it so maddening.

In other news, I think I have mentioned here before the fact that about 10 years ago, a former version of myself volunteered to plan the 10 year high school reunion for my class. And here we are, 10 years later and I am trying to get things going with the planning. The first step has been tracking people down that I've been out of touch with. With the help of Julia (the other class agent who foolishly volunteered 10 years ago) I am nearly finished with the tracking down. It's been really cool to reconnect with people and find out what everyone is doing. People are getting married, have babies etc. This process has also been a little sad because it's made me miss Carl, my freshman year boyfriend who died of brain cancer when we were seniors in college. And in a more abstract sense, it has made me miss myself. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I miss feeling invincible, I miss the heady friendships and the late nights and the crushes that were all-consuming and so incredibly important.

To add to all the nostalgia, I also happen to be reading Prep by Curtis Steinfeld at the moment. Britten recommended it to me a while ago and I suppose the timing could not be more perfect. The book is all about high school and while I did not attend boarding school, I did attend a prep school and some of the things in the book are so dead on with my experience that it's spooky.

I am sure there is more to say on this topic. Why do we make such a big deal in our society about events as they grow distant from us in ten year increments? Is it to remind us of who we were and where we came from, or simply to make us feel old and less accomplished than we'd hoped to be? Is it about reconnecting? And once we all reconnect, will we stay in contact or just wait until someone (probably me) sends out an e-mail in another 10 years and we start over again? Since when did I become so cynical?